The Private Pleasures of John Holmes [Director's Cut] - (1983)

77% (27 / 8)

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Description: John Holmes is the daddy of big dick porn. In this classic piece of erotic history, John shows his gay side. John Holmes is sensual, sexual and imaginative. This film, his first male orientated, brings to life one of his many fantasies. He is a Sultan with a Harem of many gorgeous men. We take you back to years of true erotica, the kind they use to make and are now hard to find! This is a true classic that all collectors of erotica will want for their libraries!
Scene Breakdowns
Scene 1. 2 guys
Scene 2. guy, Steve Collins
Scene 3. Joseph Yale, John Holmes
Scene 4. Johnny Dawes, Steve Collins
Scene 5. Chris Burns, Jerry Davis, John Holmes
Scene 6. Misty Dawn, Colby Douglas, John Holmes
Review:
As the only all male adult film the King (i.e. the late John Curtis Holmes, he of the 14 inch or thereabouts appendage) ever made, this has a certain amount of historical importance. One just wishes it were a much better movie, in just about every respect ! Rumors abound about this flick, including elaborate assumptions as to why Holmes made it in the first place, blackmail being one possibility. Though he had done a couple of solo loops for Falcon and a strictly soft-core short with another guy (not to mention his well-known availability to both sexes on an escort basis), he had never penetrated a member of the same gender on screen. If that's all you're looking for, then this should satisfy, even if the star looks like he would rather be anywhere else but here. The indiscriminate size queen will have a field day, of course, but romantics hoping for even the merest glimmer of affection between performers - completely absent even in the non-Holmes scenes - would be better off watching another video. Credited to "J.J. English" (who contributed the very minor gay genre classic THE PORTRAIT OF DORIAN GAY), though its slapdash approach suggests little directorial interference whatsoever, this is ultimately a rather sorry affair, played out amidst chintzy, vaguely Middle Eastern sets, scored with tone-deaf synthesizer (the instrument du jour) with glaring lighting - which serves to make already pale performers look positively pasty - and ugly cinematography to match.
Holmes "plays" a sultan and if I hadn't seen him in movies like the classic ERUPTION or Jack Remy's enjoyable GIRLS ON FIRE I'd swear the guy was the worst actor bar none ever to appear in front of the cameras. The rest of the cast is simply paraded in front of him to fulfill his every desire, his lack of enthusiasm suggesting he barely has any. Take note of the bearded boy who "assists" John in most of his sex scenes. That's actually the quite female Sharon Kane (her face never clearly visible to uphold the illusion) who does her darnedest to keep the star at least semi-aroused. Best of the King's boy/boy encounters is probably the one with the very accommodating Chris Burns (of Bill Higgins' THESE BASES ARE LOADED fame) who ignores his partner's verbal and mild physical abuse and rides him for all he's worth. Fred Halsted's longtime lover Joey Yale (with whom he appeared in his classic L.A. PLAYS ITSELF) is the insatiable wild-eyed blonde (courtesy of the white powder ?) in the first Holmes homo hardcore number. The bearded temple dancer is a somewhat sad character by contrast but his penultimate scene with Holmes does supply the most graphic penetration shots this flick has to offer so you decide whether this constitutes a highlight of sorts. Johnny Dawes, to whom I once referred as "the Richie Cunningham of gay porn" and who really does look like a very young Ron Howard, has a barely more animated threesome on the sidelines. Sad to think this shining star of Arch Bressan's sublime PLEASURE BEACH and Tom De Simone's marvelous SKIN DEEP got stuck in such a dispiriting low rent stinker. Much has been made of Holmes, Dawes, Burns and Yale subsequently all dying of AIDS-related illnesses. If this pathetic movie was somehow instrumental in their contracting the disease, this would make their untimely passing all the more heartbreaking.

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