Sweet Sexteen, Full length movie (1973)

66% (6 / 5)

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Description: AKA: Sweet Sixteen
This is one of the 'one day wonders' made for $5,000. for the Gambinos. At this point they were into teenage titles so I came up with Sweet Sixteen. The problem was the available cast wasn't young enough to remotely resemble the title. When my partner and I screened this picture for Sid Levine, the Gambinos’ front man, he just shook his head and said, 'Sweet Sixteen?.... You guys should have called this, Life Begins At Forty'. Oh well..
Scene Breakdowns
Scene 1. Cedar Houston, Levi Richards
Scene 2. Tammy Tilden, Eric Edwards
Scene 3. Judy Craven, Valerie Marron, Russ Carlson
Scene 4. Tammy Tilden, Ashley Moore
Scene 5. Judy Craven, Levi Richards
Scene 6. Cedar Houston, Eric Edwards
Scene 7. Judy Craven, Ashley Moore
Review:
Shaun Costello admitted that SWEET SEXTEEN disappointed its backers (Mafioso to hear him tell it, statute of limitations permitting) because the actresses were too old. That's true, but there's not much on screen to watch anyway this time out.

Perhaps the stolen Stevie Wonder soundtrack songs are the only positive element (unless you happen to be Stevie Wonder, but of course he doesn't have to watch this thing) of the movie. Debbie's going to have a surprise birthday party and several phone calls (yes, the plot is entirely phoned in, as are the performances) state and reiterate the film's premise for the hard of hearing - a stud has been hired to deflower Debbie as her present. Infantile irreverence from Mr. Costello.

No surprise that the great Shaun is indeed the stud in question, and he phones in the non- cock aspects of his role from a phone booth. He brings along a girl, has his cock wrapped up in a bow, and there you have it -an entire hour of porn.

I like the actress who played Debbie, Sandy King, or as she's known here -Judy Craven. In some of her roles like LADY ON TOP she looks the spitting image of Shelley Duvall, she of Robert Altman and "Faerie Tale Theatre" fame. She doesn't look too appealing here, and slurps up cock in a most unvirginal fashion.

Other cast members include Eric Edwards, horsing around rather than delivering the kind of memorable performances he was capable of for directors like Roberta Findlay or Joe Sarno.

Running gag is Costello wondering if he will have to do kinky stuff, rattling off the sort of fetish junk that he in fact helped to make famous (see: WATERPOWER for example). But it's all an idle threat - the sex in SEXTEEN is strictly routine. On the phone he balks at his next assignment - humping Julia Child! I guess sophomoric humor like this didn't turn me on circa 1970 and in my old age sounds just as stupid.

I'm sure there remains a substantial audience still for this sort of jail-bait porn, no matter how old the girls look. After all, ultimately you have to use your imagination.

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