Cave Women, Uncut Movie (1979)

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Description: AKA: Once Upon Annette, Once Upon a Time...
Government anthropologist Auclaire May uses a time travel device to study the sexual habits of prehistoric humans.
Scene Breakdowns
Scene 1. China Leigh, Blair Harris
Scene 2. Abigail Clayton, Bob Bluecloud
Scene 3. Desiree West, Dashile Miguele
Scene 4. Annette Haven, Paul Thomas
Scene 5. Amber Hunt, China Leigh, Carl Regal
Scene 6. Abigail Clayton, Cris Cassidy
Scene 7. Annette Haven, Cris Cassidy, Bob Bluecloud, Blair Harris
Review:
Welcome to the future. Meet Annette Haven, scientist, archaeologist, and student of human sexuality. Her mission- To learn as much about the sexual habits of early man as possible. Her subjects- Two whites, two orientals, two blacks. The result is a non-stop lust lab in which every possible combination is explored. Until the end, when Annette gets down in the cave and finds out how it's done, first hand, on the rocks. Watch Once Upon a Time. And look out. If she finds you, she'll be on your bones before you can say Neanderthal.
Offbeat porn from San Francisco's Golden Age credits leading lady Annette Haven as writer/director. Premise is that Haven, an anthropologist, is able to study cave people live. Since this is a porn film, it is not surprising that mostly the cave guys and gals engage in sex. Between segments Haven is pawed and explored by curious grunting cave guys, and the groping gets so out of hand by the finale that an orgy results.

The classic film probably looked much better in the theatrical release than in the video since a great deal of it is fairly long shot. Binoculars might help on anything less than a 52" screen. The camera setups are rather static. The women are uniformly very beautiful (Haven, Tina Orchid, Chris Cassidy, Amber Hunt, Desiree West, Abigail Clayton); the men are serviceable. None of the sex scenes is particularly hot, though Clayton is photographed beautifully (what did you expect?). Pretty brown Desiree West, however, is shot from angles which make her look most uncharacteristically squatty. "Confucius say ... " titles, none funny and most of which had whiskers when I was in grade school, are interspersed during parts of the film to no effect; the orgy finale is barely started when THE END flashes on screen, but hang around, it goes on for another 5 minutes all the same.

Biggest surprise of the film is hearing Haven say "Cro-manyon," correctly but totally unexpected from an American. (Maybe she really is an anthropologist, and her porn career was just research for a dissertation?) Film is a little different, and it's one you wish were better than it actually is, but it's really just loops shot with a static camera, a bit too far away.

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