Hotel Hell, Uncut Movie (1984)

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Description: When the johns have stopped cruising, Hollywood's hottest hustlers hole themselves up in this abandoned hotel - to indulge in their deepest pleasures. Searing action that's not for the faint-hearted!
Scene Breakdowns
Scene 1. Jon King, Gador
Scene 2. Big Buff Robertson, Greg Hawser, Joe Red
Scene 3. Rusty, Shawn MacAvoy
Scene 4. B.W. McFaren, Brad Mason
Scene 5. David Ashfield, Truman Martin
Review:
No, it's not a relic from Gordon Ramsay's blue movie days (does anyone even remember his short-lived KITCHEN NIGHTMARES spin-off, where he trades screaming at hapless hoteliers for hapless restauranteurs?). Instead, *this* HOTEL HELL from 1984 is brought to you by the team behind the superior gay porn opus JOBSITE. I had hoped for a similar level of quality, but was instead served a heaping helping of SOV garbage.
The nominal plot finds JOBSITE hunk Gador (a golden-curled flash-in-the-pan with only a few movies to his credit) as a biker-cum-hustler, first glimpsed prowling Hollywood Boulevard at nightfall. Slipping south down one of the side streets - probably quite near to Selma Ave., a real seedy mecca of gay cruising back in the '70s - Gad bumps into hunky mustachioed Jon King, apparently hanging out on a cot in the middle of an alley. They exchange a few pleasantries of the (all-too-literal) "how's tricks?" variety before getting down to business, despite Gador protesting he's not actually gay. Gay enough for King's dick though, I guess, as the two end up getting down for a pretty hot scene scored with some interesting and foreboding library music.
With pleasantries wrapped up, Gad observes it looks like rain, and decides that rather than crash on the street and get wet (too late), he'll head over to Hotel Hell, an abandoned gothic inn that's become a notorious flophouse for rough trade. Jon tries to stop him, but Gad persists, and we're soon following him to the creepy old building. Once inside, however, things quickly fall apart... The film shifts to spy on a duo in flagrante who are soon joined by a third, then we move back to Gad as he meets another hustler, who tells him about picking up a guy on Sunset and taking him to a tent up in the hills. Following that is an unrelated flashback to another number, with two guys getting it on in an adult bookstore - what that has to do with anything is anyone's guess. Gad observes he's probably not gonna stay too long, and the camera pans up to graffiti on the wall: "Hotel Hell - Where guests check in but they DON'T check out." Fade out, the end - huh?
What starts as a promising video mood piece quickly devolves into padded-out nonsense, any pretense of story quickly falling away and the film wandering aimlessly, throwing together any sex scene it can devise to hurl itself, panting and wheezing, past the hour mark. Sources tell me there's a longer version with a fifth encounter that my tape was missing, but it sounds like it really didn't add anything to the mix - just more random coitus. It's a shame, because the film does a decent job of establishing a foreboding mood at the outset, with its doomed, flaxen-haired Adonis seemingly finding an appropriately spooky location to lay his head for the night. Pity the film can't think of anything for him to do once he gets there except listen to a bunch of boring stories. The back of the box claims "Searing action that's not for the faint-hearted," but it would seem HOTEL's conception of the inferno is more of the Sartre variety - a whole bunch of maddening blather in a nondescript location.

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